Oh man, your life is MESSED UP right now.
Not that anyone asked us. But they can officially start.
Send Jilly your questions by filling out the form at the bottom of this post or right here, and she’ll send you a piece of her mind.
Because during those troubled times, it’s always important to ask yourself: What WOULD Jilly do?
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A couple months ago, my roommate’s computer shat the bed, and he doesn’t have the money to buy a new one right now, so I told him he could borrow mine. You can probably guess where this is going—the other day, I was typing in a URL and it auto-filled a porn website. One I’ve never visited. So that’s pretty gross. I don’t know how to tell him to stop using my computer without bringing this up; should I just tell him to stop using my computer for porn? Or hide it or something? I like the guy, but not THAT much.
-What’s Mine Isn’t Yours
You have to look at the bright side here: if your roomie hadn’t been so lazy about clearing the browser history and cache, you might never have known he wants to spend time with your computer … alone.
Actually, maybe it would have been better that way.
In all honesty, it’s not that surprising that, after a couple months of caution, your roommate would start feeling comfortable enough to use your computer the way he would have used his own (gross, but not surprising).
So maybe you have to make him feel a little less comfortable about your whole setup.
Since computers are the crux of the issue, feel free to get digital-era with your response: send him an e-mail that says your computer tried to send you to a site that has a lot of … auto-filling going on, and that you’re very much not okay with him using your machine as his spank bank.
Hell, for all you know, this is what killed his computer in the first place. Not that you need to mention that in your e-mail.
I’d tell you that letting him know you found out will be enough to solve your problem, but I’d be lying. All that will happen if you tell him, then return to the computer-share situation, is that he’ll finally learn to cover his tracks better
(gross, there are so many double-entendres in this question/answer combo).
So tell him that you’re gonna have to revoke his computer privileges. If he can’t pull together the money for a cheapie laptop (there are dozens on the market if you can forgo Mac chic), I’m still willing to bet he’ll stay connected—smart phones are probably better, and faster, than the computer I started college with, after all. And if he doesn’t have that option, there’s always the library. After all, this computer-less situation is his problem, not yours, and he basically threw your generosity back in your face (gross, gross, gross).
Feel free to say you’re sorry if you feel the need to soften the blow, but stand firm (and set a login with a password he can’t guess).
Otherwise, for you, “sticky keys” won’t just be a Microsoft Word option.
The other day, I found a $20 bill in the bathroom at my work. I’m in a big enough office that it’s not feasible to just ask around, and I’m not likely to hear through the grapevine that someone’s out twenty bucks. Do I have to try to give it back, or is this just a case of “finders, keepers?”
- Lucky Me?
Let’s cut to the chase here: whether or not you keep the $20 is totally up to you … and your idea of morality.
But the fact that you’re even asking about this tells me you probably already know that.
This seems plausible.
There’s an argument to be made for keeping the money, of course. It’s not your responsibility to be responsible for others, after all, and there’s always the question of why someone had loose twenties floating around the bathroom in the first place. How many times do I have to reiterate,
underwear isn’t a good substitute for wallets, people.
But that’s just self-justification. In sticky moral situations, the best way to see the “right” thing to do is to perform one of two thought experiments:
1. If the situation were reversed, and you were the one who was relying on the kindness of strangers, would you think the other person was in the right?
2. If, instead of a coworker, your grandpa, or your sainted mother, or your puppy (who, in this thought experiment, carries money) were the one you were doing this to, would you still be okay with doing it?
If it were grandma’s money, and she needed it to be able to eat better than cat food that week, I bet you’d hope someone would make a reasonable effort to get it back to her.
On the plus side, a reasonable effort shouldn’t be that hard. Either send a company-wide e-mail, or, if your company’s far too big for that, post on a company bulletin board and inform the office manager/secretary that you’ve found some cash. Don’t tell the denomination (because someone else might hate their grandma enough to take advantage, then); just say that if anyone is missing some money, and can tell you the amount and when s/he lost it, you’ll return it.
If you’re lucky, you’ll wind up with a $20 karmic reward for doing the right thing.
You’ve Got Problems (But Jilly’s Got Answers)
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